Home and not so rested

Well....we had a lovely time. Lovely...but tiring. This getting old business is for the birds....but its life I suppose. I used to be able to drive and travel for days and days. I love seeing new places and meeting new people....but I found this trip, any more than four or five hours in the car and I was whining. Literally.

The North Dakota state fair was fun, and if one likes to people watch, ( I love it) then a venue like this is perfect! I also did a great deal of shopping. The Canadian dollar is almost par with the US dollar now, so I did get some great bargains.

I took my laptop, but some of the hotels we stayed in did not have wireless....so I had to wait until I returned home to get updated on all my blog pals. LOL...its funny....but I missed them. Checking in with them every day is very much like calling a friend...well they are friends in every sense of the word so why am I surprised.

I must say....Kahless has a garden to die for! It is unbelievable that garden....and she has spent her holiday sprucing it up. The pictures were so nice, and made me look at my own pathetic flowers at home with little more than disgust. I am much better than I used to be though....I am learning to at least keep them watered.

Today is a funny day. I am kind of stuck in an in between place. I am not manic...and I would not say I was depressed...but I am feeling something. Or is it something that I am not feeling? See what I mean...a very strange mood indeed.

I am really lonely...that I know for sure, but I could not really say for whom or for what. I have been thinking about my mother a lot lately...missing her. Realizing there is so much I need to tell her. Things that have happened in the last few years that I wish she could comment on.

Usually mothers are the glue that holds a family together. That was certainly true in my case...although if asked about this before she died, I would have said..."no..my family is close just because". Well...that idea is proven wrong. I have spoken to my sister only once this last year....my youngest brother only a couple of times.

I live very far away from them...but still...that is no excuse. I know I need to do something about this ....but not sure what. I dont have anything to say really....and they arent calling me, so obviously, they dont either. It happened slowly...it didnt occur right after mother died. We just all slowly stopped communicating. Life happens....we go on doing our own thing. My mother made the effort to try and get everyone together a couple of times a year....and we dont seem to have that kind of drive. None of us are angry with each other....we love each other....but our lives have diverged.

On another note....I have my damned furnace on at home! I was freezing when I got out of the shower this morning, so I turned it on and up....and when I went home at lunch it was still cold outside so I left it on. We get early winters here...and we really dont get fall...(or spring for that matter) so by September it is not unusual to have snow. I think that this year will be one of those times, that we are snowed in well before Halloween. The joys of living in the land of the Northern Lights.

I am a northern girl....from Northern Ontario originally. Northern Manitoboa is different though. It isnt pretty here...at least not to my eye. Its all permafrost...and its bleak. I am here for another 5 years anyway...until hubby and I retire. I retire first...3 more years...then I get to sit around and wait for him to be done...but it could be worse. I need to be thankful that we have a good life generally. I forget that sometimes...and can act like a spoiled brat I am afraid.

Its good to be home...I missed my dogs. They were none the worse for wear though, and well taken care of. They follow us from room to room now though, as if to let us know that we wont get away on them this time. They are so cute and so funny.

I have a couple of blog post ideas running through my head. I will post them, but I just want to get them straight in my head first.

Thank you to all my blog friends who have ventured over to comment and say hello.