Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Dreary day...

but...it is spring at least. This has been a winter to end all winters. Temps hung around 52C for about 2 and 1/2 months, and we got a great deal of snow. Because it is always so cold here in the winter, we usually don't get dumped with a huge amount of the white stuff. This year we got both!

Its kind of a drizzly day...raining actually. Thats alright though, because it gets rid of the snow that is left that is so dirty from all the traffic etc.

I'm feeling fairly good actually. I still have not been taking the mood stabilizers. Its been awhile now, and no manic sessions to deal with. I cannot bring myself to stop the anti depressants though. I am far too chicken for that. Normal everyday life can be hard enough, without depression that never seems to lift. The type that makes you crawl under the covers. The kind that won't let you read...or watch tv...or read blogs...or talk to anyone.

Another blogger I read speaks about the "crying place". I wonder if my "place" is similar. I dont really know. I dont spend time crying when depressed....I dont have even the energy or the desire. I just feel nothing at all....and that is such a scary place to be.

However...that is not where I am at the moment.

I am getting very excited to go and visit my daughter and grandkids in May. I am taking 10 days, and flying out to just enjoy some quality time with them. I had hoped to make the trip this summer, when hubby could come with me...but he wants to do something else in the summer, so I will go in May.

I dont like to fly though. I will have to think of something so that I am not so scared. Its funny...because I am so nervous, I am always the one that gets patted down and really scrutinzed at security. I get mad...hubby laughs. Its really not funny...but I dont know how to change it. I wish I drank....perhaps being drunk would help...or not. That would most likely get me tossed off the plane.

Anyway, I am really just prattling today. Nothing to say....but so much to read, so back to my blog pals. I am so in love with them!

8 comments:

BBC said...

I dont understand my need...my very real need to read papers and watch news broadcasts. Why do I do this to myself.If you don't do it to yourself something may sneak up on you and hurt you.

Like if you didn't know that the economy was tanking you may not start being thrifty and charge a lot of things and pile up debt that could break you if you lost your income.

It is sad that we have so little control over the bigger picture.

It's nice here today also. Winters are pretty mild here, just a lot of rain at times but I keep camping through the winter.

You don't need mood drugs, I've never taken them. It's cheaper to just get pissed and stay pissed. :-)

BBC said...

One thing I get upset about is the fact that I think mankind is destroying this planet and that today's youth are going to be having a hell of a struggle in thirty years.

I don't think that many of them are going to have the decent lives we've had.

Well, I did my share of harm over the years until I wised up. Now I live in one room and get by on less than a grand a month.

jumpinginpuddles said...

i think flying can be scary and sympathise so much

BBC oh thats freaking good advice are you saying alcohol isnt a mood changing drug! shhhesh

Casey said...

I like your style Billy.

JIP...nice to see you here pal. Hope you are well.

RunninL8 said...

Hi Casey! Thanks for the Heads Up on GW at We're not That Stupid!!
I hate to fly, too but found that getting buzzed is the WORST thing I could do! I feel like crap, I'm dehydrated, and my fear is still there-but worse. Which makes for a VERY long flight!!! I've found the portable DVD thing to be a big help along with my husbands arm!!!

Kahless said...

Hi Casey,
glad you are going to spend some time with your grandkids. How exciting.

And spring is on its way here too. I like the hope that spring brings; it is definately my favourite season.

Kahless said...

Have I hacked you off?

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

It was nice to have you drop by my blog. Come again! I will visit yours from time to time.