Thankyou Kahless

Actually...thank you to beautiful dreamer as well.

After that last post, I had the weekend to mull things over. So...I did. It wasnt particularly easy...but really not that difficult either, to decide not to go. It was a little harder to tell my husband...however, that ended up being in my own mind.

I told him late yesterday that I didnt want to go. I said that it would just cause to make me a little crazy....and he said...." a lot crazy you mean".

I dont give him enough credit, and I know this for certain now. The discussion went further into the fact that he cannot read my mind, and he is never sure what it is that I really want or dont want. I can see this you know. I dont doubt for a moment what he was telling me, and it makes me feel terrible that I would even put him in this postion. I know he doesnt really understand the impact that my youth had on me, but I do know he is aware that I can get pretty off kilter pretty damn easy.

Several years ago, we travelled a full 2 days of straight driving to go home to visit. (yes..thats how long it takes to drive) I stayed overnight after arriving around dinner time, and wanted to leave early the next morning. We did leave, and he didnt scold or berate me in any way for that, so on most levels, he tries to be accomodating.

I did tell him that I would be glad to book a flight for him to go on his own, but he declined. He said he didnt mind not going at all....and that we would get pictures. My god...I make such mountains out of mole hills sometimes.....no...all the time!

Anyhow...thankyou Kahless. Without your responses to the previous posts, I most likely wouldnt have given the entire thing much thought. I am beginning to think there is a part of me, that causes this kind of drama...just to further punish myself. Something like that anyway, but whatever it is, I have to take a good look at it.